illogically provocative

It was a very odd weekend. The league of young voters (who used to call themselves the league of pissed off voters until they realized it inhibited their diplomatic possibilities) had a show in Lewiston at a place called Guthries and we needed a ride for the poets to get there. I hustled my girlfriend into giving a blank check to fill up the car with wordsmiths and ride down on a Saturday where we had a lot else to do.

Then everyone canceled. All of a sudden the only performers were Wil and I which is weird. I will usually travel with the gang as logistical back up kind of a tour manager SLASH sexless groupie but this time it was going to have to be different. It was just going to be us too and forget the fact that the guy I'm rolling with fathered this current variation of my writing style. Wil is the champ and the problem is for an audience he is the only one they will have to compare me against. If we could have taken someone awful I would have been much more comfortable.

When we got there and Wil gathered the facts it turned out we had a 45 MINUTE SLOT I was not fully ready to split that time down the middle so we settled on the idea of him doing 3 pieces and then me doing 1 after. Wil has done several events for the league and they LOVE him they feed on the passion he has and whether or not they know it they love the craftsmanship he gives to his passion. Anyway, enough sucking up to my elders! I noticed that in this bar there are a lot of kids and I'm thinking FIRSTLY why are a bunch of kids in a bar(insert Lewiston joke) SECOND what happens when I get to the part of the poem where I yell "FUCK A DUCK!!!"

I had a picture in my mind similar to an old Robin Williams joke where you swear once and for the rest of the day these kids are tugging at their fathers sleeve and yelling up at him "FUCK A DUCK DADDY!!!" the father looks down and shakes his head blaming poetry for his childs trip to the dark side of language.

I love swearing more then I love Corn Nuts and BOY DO I LOVE CORN NUTS. I swear more then most people do and Wil swears more then I do so these kids got it from all angles. In the end its only Illogically provocative because the kids are going to learn the words anyway and if you keep them gaurded, hidden away in some box marked DONT TOUCH that will just make it more interesting. In the end I performed without editing anything because the FUCK I made with my mouth had a point behind it. That sounded disgusting.

capability and vanity

People don't often think about capability, especially in regards to writing. Whenever I tell someone I am a writer(I don't say I'm a poet that's a whole other ball of wax) I am told right off the bat "I could never do that" or if I mention about the performance aspect of what we do on tuesdays at the North Star Cafe they say "I can't read in front of people." I pretend to make us both happy, its great for me because it gives me the false impression that my ability to express my creative voice is soooooooo unique and for them it's a limitation they get to suffer from. A part of the world that will remain a happy mystery.

The truth is simple, everyone has the capability to own that stage. They have the capability every week, thats why the established guys work so hard its out of fear. Every writer, poet, short story or hallmark card writer has an identified locker full of faults. Things that are holding them back from being at maximum capability and all you really have to do is eliminate as many as you can or cleverly mask them. Its easier said then done. Trust me.

At writers group on Wednesday I've been a dizzy cheerleader getting excited about the different viewpoints everyone has on the same topics we all pick from. Its one ugly toothless world and we all draw it in our words differently, its so interesting. A lot of them are so close to bridging that capability gap I tried to give them what the big Mac used to call "straight talk" sometimes it was tough because none of them really sucked they just needed to shake themselves up. I had to be general and specific if that makes any sense.

I have been to writers groups where there were ego tenderness issues and people didnt want to hear anything but the good news. It makes you mad because you give your time for nothing. I know some people appreciated the way Wil and I were able to communicate and never tell them what to do but just poke at possibilities. I know this because they come in every tuesday and they get better and better.

I'm not spoiling them by writing this either. I don't know that any of them will read this blog. If you know them and reading it, keep it between us. I don't want any of them to get a big head.

Dan gives very general tips on how to live

If there are people who read this post and i'm not just singing into space here, then some will wonder what in the devil this has to do with poetry, port veritas, or anything artistic. Those people should complain to Nate Amadon who lets me do this because....well I don't know. Anyway, here are some things you should be doing.

1. When someone's cellphone goes off at your work and its inappropriately loud immediately start dancing. Its a great effect, trust me.

2. Next time you go to buy new clothes buy something you know is ugly, not stand out 1970's variety show ugly but fairly ugly and since its cheap it won't cost that much. Wearing ugly clothes makes you a more humble person. You can no longer judge other books by their cover because your cover is JACKED UP.

3. Ignore all news broadcasts for at least a week. When you check in so many interesting things will have transpired you will be LOVING IT!

4. DO NOT WEAR SHADES UNLESS THE SUN IS OUT AND BRIGHT!!! PEOPLE WHO NEEDLESSLY WEAR SHADES WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WE HATE YOU!!!
(The presidential candidates don't hate you but thats because they can't afford to exclude any demographics right now)

5. Blame violent video games, hip hop gets soooooo much blame for the death of morality and values in the mainstream media that everyone has forgotten about video games. If we ever live in a country where Misogyny is confined to hip hop we have all won. By the way, while we blame violent video games it is fine to keep buying and playing them. As Americans we blame things for our problems just so people will get off of our hindquarters, ask your parents.

6. Call the 800 number on the back of any product you eat whether you like or don't like it and give them a piece of your mind. Even if its a good piece call and be like "Thank you Cheez-Its for providing such a consistently good product with so many pleasant variations." Its fun to do especially when around other people who will think your weird and...you get free stuff.

Don't question me people just do it.

The heat is..............ON!!!

This Tuesday 9/09/08 marks the beginning of a new slam cycle, what I mean is that if you go into the North Star Cafe and join the slam(for more of a definition as to what a slam is or what the rules are go to the slam section of this website) if you place you will be eligible to contend in the great battle to save time itself that is the qualifying slam for nationals that will happen a long time from now.

We have had so many strange and intoxicating artists slam for us that it's hard to give an ESPN style preview of who I think is in contention or what will happen. After all its such a long cycle and so many gifted folks come out of nowhere, but this is the time and place. If you start off this month in high gear then by the end of the season you can be ready or at least pumped up enough not to pee in your pants when your in front of poets from across the nation who rock HARD for exactly 3 minutes.

All the people who went last year have to start fresh all of this cycle's success falls to the wayside if we can't as a community get better. If the first port veritas nationals team was the terminator this years needs to be the T1000 newly improved edition. I'm so excited to meet the next team with some of the same faces but some new, I have to thank the audience we have who is more kind and patient then any of us could have hoped for. I'm happy for you as well if your as excited about this as I am.

I'm pretty into it though.

slam poetry Gilbert Gottfried and the death of superman

I tell people about Port Veritas wherever I go I tell them to buy our Safe Harbor anthology I talk about Wil, Sean, Nate, Olivia until I either pump them like a football team before the superbowl or they are sick of my conversation. Not everyone is comfortable with the form, sometimes it seems too close to hip hop and a lot of people don't like how brash hip hop is and definitely don't want to see that translate over into poetry. But to be clear about things everything done in the arts is viewed as an afront to what was before it, it's something to be expected. I'm never surprised to hear someone make the case that every tuesday night we hock a hot spitwad into the face of those beautiful classical poets, the form itself, the nobility in art. Believe me i've heard it before.

I'll tell you that the best comparison to this stance is the death of superman, DC comics decided that as a ploy for publicity they would kill superman. This was a long long time ago 1992 1993 timeframe far as I can remember and at the time there was an absolute uproar about it. The papers were covering superman and talking to comic nerds for reaction, it was an outrage to those who remembered superman from childhood as the great symbol of american strength. The problem is that pure unabashed one dimensional strength does not draw an audience or create empathy for a character. In short, no one was buying Superman comics so they had to do something to drum up interest anyone who knew comics knew what was going on but those who only know Superman as a symbol in their mind wanted him the same. Of course Superman died and came back the way Spider-man, Green Lantern, and hosts of others have in todays Superman comics he is presented more often with morally challenging situations people want to see him stifled by his powers not flaunting them and that is what DC does now-a-days.

Poetry has to change from something your comfortable with to something that grabs you in a serious way thats the only way it can sustain itself against other forms of novelty media art. The people who do go up on that stage every tuesday and let it all hang out whether they look stupid or whether they hit it perfectly on the nose and give someone a deeply rooted experiance. Either way none of them need anyone's permission, no one in the world of literature asks nicely to change things they just do it and people second guess later. I spoke to a very nice lady this weekend who used to teach English at Yale and she backed me on this it felt pretty good for a second that she could put it in a historical sense and understand how that brash loud performance aspect is a missing link from a lot of the old stuff. Who is to say the poetic minds of the 1900's are to be forever unmatched? Or the 1800's? Anyone could be the greatest to do it at any time. I just want to be the Gilbert Gottfried of poetry. I love that guy.