Dan gives very general tips on how to live
If there are people who read this post and i'm not just singing into space here, then some will wonder what in the devil this has to do with poetry, port veritas, or anything artistic. Those people should complain to Nate Amadon who lets me do this because....well I don't know. Anyway, here are some things you should be doing.
1. When someone's cellphone goes off at your work and its inappropriately loud immediately start dancing. Its a great effect, trust me.
2. Next time you go to buy new clothes buy something you know is ugly, not stand out 1970's variety show ugly but fairly ugly and since its cheap it won't cost that much. Wearing ugly clothes makes you a more humble person. You can no longer judge other books by their cover because your cover is JACKED UP.
3. Ignore all news broadcasts for at least a week. When you check in so many interesting things will have transpired you will be LOVING IT!
4. DO NOT WEAR SHADES UNLESS THE SUN IS OUT AND BRIGHT!!! PEOPLE WHO NEEDLESSLY WEAR SHADES WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WE HATE YOU!!!
(The presidential candidates don't hate you but thats because they can't afford to exclude any demographics right now)
5. Blame violent video games, hip hop gets soooooo much blame for the death of morality and values in the mainstream media that everyone has forgotten about video games. If we ever live in a country where Misogyny is confined to hip hop we have all won. By the way, while we blame violent video games it is fine to keep buying and playing them. As Americans we blame things for our problems just so people will get off of our hindquarters, ask your parents.
6. Call the 800 number on the back of any product you eat whether you like or don't like it and give them a piece of your mind. Even if its a good piece call and be like "Thank you Cheez-Its for providing such a consistently good product with so many pleasant variations." Its fun to do especially when around other people who will think your weird and...you get free stuff.
Don't question me people just do it.
1. When someone's cellphone goes off at your work and its inappropriately loud immediately start dancing. Its a great effect, trust me.
2. Next time you go to buy new clothes buy something you know is ugly, not stand out 1970's variety show ugly but fairly ugly and since its cheap it won't cost that much. Wearing ugly clothes makes you a more humble person. You can no longer judge other books by their cover because your cover is JACKED UP.
3. Ignore all news broadcasts for at least a week. When you check in so many interesting things will have transpired you will be LOVING IT!
4. DO NOT WEAR SHADES UNLESS THE SUN IS OUT AND BRIGHT!!! PEOPLE WHO NEEDLESSLY WEAR SHADES WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WE HATE YOU!!!
(The presidential candidates don't hate you but thats because they can't afford to exclude any demographics right now)
5. Blame violent video games, hip hop gets soooooo much blame for the death of morality and values in the mainstream media that everyone has forgotten about video games. If we ever live in a country where Misogyny is confined to hip hop we have all won. By the way, while we blame violent video games it is fine to keep buying and playing them. As Americans we blame things for our problems just so people will get off of our hindquarters, ask your parents.
6. Call the 800 number on the back of any product you eat whether you like or don't like it and give them a piece of your mind. Even if its a good piece call and be like "Thank you Cheez-Its for providing such a consistently good product with so many pleasant variations." Its fun to do especially when around other people who will think your weird and...you get free stuff.
Don't question me people just do it.
posted by veritas2 at
7:40 AM
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